Hi there, the name’s Bruce, I’ll be your caddy for the afternoon.  You might think you know me from Electric Light Orchestra’s 1979 classic, “Don’t Bring Me Down.”  The words in the chorus sound like, “don’t bring me down, BRUCE,” but my name isn’t actually in it.  That song is an earworm, though, and the line that sounds like “Brrrruuuce” is an even tinier worm that crawled in the ear of the earworm and held on for its dear wormy life.  

6:03am: In my recurring dream, I’ve been transformed from a dinner plate into a decorative plate. I’m mounted on the kitchen wall, imperiously looking down at the workaday dishware as they toil away. No one speaks to me. No one places anything upon me. Passersby admire my rendering of the Queen Mum on her 90th birthday.