Recently I ranted about Starbucks discontinuing almond syrup but keeping a surreal flavor called “Classic” readily available. I complained about them ceasing to serve breakfast sandwiches but keeping their store well stocked with copies of Cranium and baskets of stuffed bears. What I didn’t realize was that Starbucks was obviously making way for something much
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Q. Is it true that you have made a living ferreting out bad smells? How does one get such a job? A. Are you trying to insult me? Do you think I make a living from my odorous work, my holy cause? Let me tell you something. All that I have done in the odor
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Two mighty opponents glared at each other on the field of battle. One of them had a stomachache. “I don’t care if the stars realigned themselves to spell out her name,” the dragon roared, wishing he hadn’t eaten the other traveler he’d come across that morning. “I saw her first!” “My uncle’s pumpkin patch you
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Thomas Huntington, CEO, broke into tears and said that despite the long hours he worked he truly loves his fiancée, Victoria, and will try to balance his work and home life better in the future. The marketing department then started singing “Thomas and Victoria sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Charlotte Figueroa, Northwestern Director of Product
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Hector Van Ort lived in a pumpkin. It was a very nice pumpkin, very orange. At one point, it had actually been made of pumpkin, but then it got warm and the pumpkin got unpleasant and Hector had it reinforced with matchsticks and tinder. That worked about as well as one would expect, really. Thankfully
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