“Um, Professor Defrancesco, I don’t think the flux capacitator is on right?” “It’s fine son, it’s just fine, now go on with your symposium presentation!” “Um…OK…um, Professor Defrancesco, is it supposed to be that color? “That’s perfectly natural, son–” Ten minutes later, after Jenny Blotnick is rushed to the hospital with a flux capacitator lodged

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Motherfuckers gotta represent. Yeah, I’m White, so what? White like a piece of Xerox paper dunked in a barrel of bleach. I’m White like vanilla ice cream if you take the flavoring out. I mean, there’s not even any vanilla in my shit, fake or natural. I’m just pure no-color fucked-up White. I’m so White

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When people ask me where I live, I tell them that I’m a professional nomad.   It’s not so far from the truth.   Such is the life of a non-equity actress, hopping from actors’ housing in Clarksville, TN to rented beach houses in Ocean City, NJ, for the sake of the stage.   I’ve never minded the

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Moderator: Ladies and Gentlemen, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Atheists, Agnostics, Fanatics, and members of the Kansas Board of Education, we have a rare treat for you this evening. {Jeers from the audience} Since the presidential candidates declined an invitation to participate in debate, invoking the confidentiality of Skull and Bones, we had to scramble to fill

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Hello, people of the  ’internet!’ We are completely blown away here; had no idea how many  ’e-mails’ were in our  ’inbox.’ 928,391. That is just crazy! Our Commissioner of Contemporary Culture informed us that someone had created a  ’hotmail account’ for us in 1999. That’s ages ago! That’s when we were still churning our own

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