How successful a night? Well, the first guy wasn’t wearing a shirt. That’s what I said: no shirt. It wasn’t in the bar. It was in the function room. That’s the great thing about function rooms, they’ll let you in without a shirt. Pants? Pants’d be pushing it. There’d be problems if you showed up without pants. Speed dating demands pants. Hawaii shorts at the minimum.

Yeah. There’s a side entrance where the smokers stand. It’s cold and full of abandoned beer barrels. You don’t smoke. You don’t notice. His chest? I didn’t really look. It seemed intrusive to look. And, I guess, he wanted you to look. OK. I did look. It was hairless. And he flexed his muscles when he spoke. As if to punctuate what he was saying about going to the gym and masturbating.

You might be wondering what became of Mr. Ed, the talking horse from the television series which ran from 1958 to 1966. Few people outside the industry know that Mr. Ed was actually a zebra. The horse originally cast for the role proved uncooperative, and, with production costs mounting, the producers were afraid the show would be dropped from the network schedule. Their inspired solution was a nearby zoo that was willing to lend a zebra. Black and white television of that era rendered the zebra’s stripes invisible to viewers, and the set was reconstructed using forced perspective to make the smaller zebra version of Mr. Ed appear as large as a horse. The popular show became one of the first to be syndicated, with episodes still airing today.

For many, yoga is a way to relax and invigorate the mind, body and spirit. But have you ever felt that ordinary yoga isn’t enough? Do you find yourself still tense? Still stressed? Still radiating with a hateful, murderous energy that frightens your friends and loved ones? What you need is Rage Yoga. After studying the art of yoga via DVD for many months, I have come up with my own simple, three-minute program, designed to help you dig deep inside yourself and compress your emotions into a tiny ball of pure poison.

At a poorly attended Los Angeles gallery exhibition this week of the photographs of little-known celebrity photographer Howard Busgang, one image stood out among the rushed compositions of unwelcome encounters: a heretofore unseen photograph of Marlon Brando with his head in a cast.

Tabitha Nostrand resides in a small farming community near the Finger Lakes region of upstate New York, with her partner, three cats, four dogs, a jackrabbit, and a stoat (look it up). Her day job involves repairing tractor engines. Her night job involves her partner, Glenda. Her new novella, The Sweet Dark Envelope, will appear this fall in the Androgyrotic 6 anthology from Northern Mascot Press.