Prose

“Al on the Arts,” by Christopher Hivner

Sep 11th, 2024 | By

Welcome to Al on the Arts. I’m Al Fridgett with your entertainment report.

We start with music and the new entry from death metal band Insouciant Demoralizer, Blood for Blood for Blood for Blood for Meat, released on Feline Leukemia Records. Playing their guitars completely out of tune, Farting Sam and Vomiting Tim create a palate of noise that rivals four jet engines red lining inside a nuclear reactor. Lyrically the songs form a pattern of blistering political takes on the current situation in Mongolia, ancestral home of singer and chief song writer Slobbering Jerry. The aggregate score from online music critics give Blood for Blood for Blood for Blood for Meat a score of 6 out of 100.



“Snap My Neck Before the Chorus,” by Jeff Wallace

Sep 4th, 2024 | By

I like to play around on the piano, though I’m no pro. What I don’t enjoy is pausing to turn pages, or worse, spreading them out and propping them up in front of me. Pages fly every time the air conditioner kicks in. For some songs that’s fine, but who really wants to hear page six of Hey Jude?



“Advice from Dr. J. P. Sartre, Couples Counselor,” by David Galef

Aug 28th, 2024 | By

Commitment is an act, not a word. Now, I want you two to demonstrate the love you share, right here in the office.



“All Sales Are Final,” by Eric Lawson

Aug 20th, 2024 | By

On a typical sleepy Sunday morning in Glendale, California, Kyle and his wife, Noelle, were setting up lawn chairs for their garage sale. A small playing card table was situated between them with a pitcher of ice tea and two cups. A sign on a makeshift sandwich board read: GARAGE SALE. ALL SALES ARE FINAL. This was the second attempt as the previous day a steady drizzle had kept only but a handful of the bargain hunters away.



“Flying In Circles,” by Dave Lovell

Aug 20th, 2024 | By

Being the survivor of a happy union, ’til death do us part, would have been less painful than the daily combat of annulment crossfire. I flipped through my soon-to-be ex-husband’s proposed divorce settlement with a feeling of loss, disappointed that decades of a life together would end in acrimony. Why should I be expected to settle for less than I deserved? The deadline to sign was approaching.