Tricia Jones’ combination of organic cereal and milk was lauded an exquisite example of culinary achievement by her two children at breakfast this morning. Ms. Jones, who describes her two children as “little foodies,” listened as they praised her choice of O-shaped cereal from a niche grocery chain known for healthy offerings. When asked, they offered resounding praise for the blending of ancient grains and organic milk.

First, put your cell phone policy on the syllabus: “No cell phone use in class.” Before printing, debate whether or not to add “please.” These are adults. Would you want to be commanded? Add “please.” But they should know you mean business. Delete “please.” Put it in. Take it out.

Red: Red sighs very deeply. “Ugh, don’t even get me started on her,” says red, before changing the subject.

New client intake. Louis P. is a Caucasian male of undisclosed age. Well dressed. No reported health problems, but physical condition appears poor. Face, gaunt. Gaze, dull. Skin, pale, like marble. Eyes, red, hyper-dilated. Client reports being unhappy about his current lifestyle. Practices “vile and morally repugnant” behaviors which cause him to “sleep all day and stalk the lonely streets all night, haunted by an insatiable thirst.”

Here at Spring House we provide a supportive environment for up to thirty spoiled rotten teens, with the youngest age 16 and the oldest 19, who are not yet so lazy as to require hospitalization or life support. Experiencing the emotional and physical upheavals of youth along with the cognitive and bodily failings of advanced age, or claiming they do, these teens suffer the worst of both worlds. They need help with bathing, dressing, homework, applying for jobs, getting out of bed at some point and saying a kind word. That is where we at Spring House step in.