Dear Mr. Loaf,

Can I call you Meat? I’m writing because we share an affinity for renaming ourselves as grub. You were once Marvin and became so much more. Likewise, I want the culinary glory of nomenclature from foodstuffs.

Oregon State Penitentiary, Salem.

This place is showing its age. I know they moved it from Portland in 1866, but seriously…the concrete walls are under 15 ft. high. Both sad and ridiculous. On the plus side, it didn’t take as long to get served as when I went to Social Cube in downtown Portland. The bartender there totally ignored me. Of course, that’s part of how I ended up here. Three stars.

As Charles jumped from atop the building,
he yelled like a native (which is to say he
made a noise as often depicted in the
media of Western countries (clearly
an artificial division, unfairly favoring
one side with false criteria of culture)
though natives surely had their own
reasons to yell, just not—perhaps—
jumping from buildings).

Everybody’s dropping mixtapes now, and it can be hard to figure out which ones are worth your time. This reviewer has unearthed a collection that is both historical and fantastic. No mere concept album or casual listen, this compendium will practically revolutionize what you think you know about music and potentates. When it takes over the airwaves, you’ll be happy to listen.

Part I: Pregnancy

The Good Housekeeping illustrated book of pregnancy and baby care.

The Madness of King George [videorecording]

Toys to Knit

Dark Autumn [videorecording]

Chariots of Fire [videorecording]