Fake Nonfiction

“Dr. Yuan’s Bio Without A Single BS Sentence,” by Xinran Maria Xiang

Mar 8th, 2023 | By

Dear Dr. Yuan: Please provide a few sentences for a biography to be included in our physician profile. Market research tells us that patients research providers on hospital websites before choosing one, and they consider how personal or human you are. We encourage you to write a biography that shows your personality, values, why you practice medicine, etc. 



“Tasting Notes,” by K R Reeve

Mar 1st, 2023 | By

A new blend of grapes, making lots of noise in winery circles. Effort is required to appreciate the initial notes, but will be rewarded by increased complexity. More expensive than anticipated.

Pair with: sweets and puddings, particularly chocolate.



“Shopping List for Next-to-Best-Friend’s Weekend Visit,” by Amy Marques

Feb 15th, 2023 | By

Note to shopper: No substitutions, no variations, no off-brand, no surprises.



“Dopest Super Bowl Halftime Show Ever,” by C.L. Barish

Feb 8th, 2023 | By

Based on the early internet buzz and euphoric media coverage, this year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show promised to be the most watched live entertainment event ever.

And when the first half of the football game finally ticked down to zero, thousands of fans in the seats were invited onto the field to have a front row seat to pop culture history.



“A Breathless Plea for Guidance Postmarked the Twenty-Third of May,” by Dale Stromberg

Feb 1st, 2023 | By

Dear Agony Aunt I am writing to you because I have nobody else to turn to and I need to know about the whole question of forever which is a topic you don’t think about much or at least I never did until my boyfriend announced he was going to get me a diamond ring and