Advice from a Seasoned Professional My first time living in Japan—properly living, not touristing—was in a small town called Nakatsu, Oita Prefecture, where I worked as a middle school English teacher. Every city and region in Japan has one or more local claims-to-fame, and in Nakatsu’s case those specialties were fried chicken, eel, getting shit-faced

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NIBBLES
Assorted artisanal one-night stands sourced from local colleges (guaranteed 18 and over)
Grilled weekend warrior salad with a bad boy vinaigrette and Kawasaki fumes
Married co-worker aspic on a wilted marital bed

So there you are, all positive vibes. Telling yourself today’s the day, carpe diem. Open your email, all bated breath, and there it is—your umpteenth rejection. Now, some anonymous assistant to the assistant editor has knocked your dick in the dirt. It’s another existential crisis.

A few times a year, I meet up with some of my college friends ($80k annual tuition) from a seminar called Poverty and Inequality. We bonded over a group project where we had to create a PowerPoint about where we think that the Poverty Line should be drawn. (Are you living in poverty if you don’t have WiFi? What if you’re just off the grid?)

After a few $21 martinis, the same conversation always comes up. The perennial riddle: is there a such thing as ethical consumption under capitalism?