The passing this week of Flushing delicatessen owner Fillmore Weinreb might have gone unnoticed were it not for his improbable claim nearly four decades ago that he, and not Neil Armstrong, had in fact been the first man on the moon, along with his cat, Max.

The real problem with robots isn’t that they have a limited vocabulary, but that their vocabulary is too damned good. They know every word that has ever been published in a dictionary, and absolutely no context to use them properly.

Jonathan, what does one actually do with an MFA in Creative Writing?   That’s right, bitches!  In case you all didn’t hear, I finally graduated with an MFA, a master’s degree in the delicate art of making shit up. Of course, this is usually a wonderful topic at parties.  Once an MFAer is identified, everyone

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Dear Greg,

I appreciate your e-mail protesting the C you received on your midterm exam. I know it must have taken a lot of courage to write me. (Of course, it would have taken even more courage to confront me in person, but whatever. Not everyone has gumption.)

A lot of my comics are based on actual conversations I’ve had with my family. Winslow’s exclamation here is something that is (sadly) said quite frequently in my house. I’m not sure what that’s more indicative of: that we have no shame in resorting to scatological humor when appropriate, or that we have serious intestinal issues.