As we get older
we seem to get on each other’s nerves

Kit contains:
One shaped sponge
Batteries not included
Three pages of caution notes
and small print

They shared a moment, but he still got the half with the most cranberries. I said, “You know how good friends can just sit and say nothing,” and she said, “Shut up.” He said the medicine “dissipated tumors beyond belief,” and I hope he’s right, because I don’t believe him. After she started watching zombie movies, she made me take a cold shower before we had sex.

No matter how many times
I moved around my inward lamps
And tables and chairs
To please the various
Interior decorators and remodelers
I’d fallen for

Someone let it slip to me about two weeks ago now. And it’s damn near driven me insane. They let it slip so casually too, like they’d said nothing interesting.

“The elderly love feeding the ducks.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean?