Winslow strikes me as the kind of person who would mansplain everything, all the time, even if he really had no idea what he was talking about–no, especially if he had no idea what he was talking about. He would mansplain childbirth to a mother of four, he would mansplain economics to an entrepreneur with worldwide business interests, he would mansplain space travel to a NASA scientist with 15 years of experience.

Dear Editor,

This is the first time I’ve ever written a “letter to the editor.” Though I must confess I’m not a subscriber to your newspaper, I have been known to peruse its contents at the library. I am a big fan of the in-depth coverage you provide of the Saturday night races at our local “speedway.” And ever since my social media accounts were suspended (for various unfounded reasons too trivial to mention), your “police blotter” provides a means for me to keep up with the various goings-on of my friends, coworkers, and former classmates.

Some people are not meant to be in romantic relationships. At the top of that list is Winslow.

Can I get everyone’s attention?

My name is Terry Clemette, and I am your Operations Sections Chief. It’s a big group, please get in close. Closer, please. We have a lot of material to cover.

When Winslow gets on a human airplane he has to use a booster seat or, on one memorable occasion, stowaway in the overhead compartment.