1) I don’t like biting into watermelons. It reminds me of sex. But in a bad way.

Why does nobody care about the Death of my Dieffenbachia?
I Woke Up this morning and all its leaves had gone brown.
I’ve been in a Panic ever since.

You never judge me.
Cash or credit?
Whichever makes me happy.
And the card I insert?
The magnetic strip can face either way.
Very thoughtful.

Arrogance makes your words
sound of howling dogs.

They fall from your mouth, in
lifeless idioms you call poetry.

My kids have been wondering where all the Christmas presents are. I haven’t really been hiding them, exactly, but they expect them to be in some really clever place, so they haven’t stumbled across them yet. I wrapped everything in the guest room down in the basement, then put all the wrapped presents into some boxes in the same room–all fully visible.