From the team that brought you What to Expect When You’re Expecting comes a new, comprehensive guide for women at that magical mid-life stage: What to Expect When You’re Expecting Nothing At All.

French toast, also known as pain perdu, or lost pain, is a time-honored staple of frugal French housewives and househusbands (maris de maison) everywhere. It consists of stale bread that even le chien refused, lovingly bathed in egg and milk and fried in something called a poêle. It is then dusted with cinnamon and hung on the wall as decoration.

Do you remember how I was telling you about my piano teacher? Mrs. Haley was an old lady with white hair, glasses on a string, a Boston Terrier named Jerry and a house that smelled of old upholstery and stale coffee. Just the smell walking in used make my heart sink. That, and knowing that I hadn’t practiced.

Our philosophy here at Placebo Meadows has always been as follows. No matter how old you are, you can always expand your life with learning. With that thought in mind, here is a list of this year’s lectures. Dates will be announced in the near future.

Look, I know it’s weird and all. Me showing up like this at your door. I don’t know you–but I feel like I do. I know you only as a concept. A worker. My worker. Can I come in?