This comic has all the things you were hoping to see today. Ben. Winslow. Tight-fitting costumes. Goblins. Babies. References to movies from the 80s. For you, my fans, I deliver.
“I’m going to be a father,” says robot Karl Weindfeller. The 6’ 2” LED-eyed, copper-plated machine makes history as the first metal man to impregnate a human woman and lay claim to her unborn child. A customer service representative at Mueller Brewery, Weindfeller is suing his one-night partner and carrier of the fetus, Alexandra Bourne, for legal recognition as the daddy.
Winslow puts up this sign at every party he’s ever thrown. It gives him a way to claim whatever gets left behind without resorting to the ridiculous lost-and-found box Ben keeps in the hall closet next to the large Tupperware bin full of craft supplies. Winslow has amassed quite a collection of abandoned items: watches, jewelry, cell phones, underpants.
It’s no secret that Paris is one of the world’s truly magical getaway destinations. Renowned far and wide for its art, culture, and world-class dining, a Parisian vacation will soon have even the Beastliest visitor overcome by its Beauty. But in a city cock-full of so many amazing things to see, do and eat, how can anyone be sure that they’re making the most of their European adventure? Well, fear not “mon ami”—I’ve just gotten back from a three-day, two-night stay in “The City By The Lights,” and I’ve compiled the ultimate Insider’s Guide that will soon have you cheering “oui oui!” just like you were a local!
I’ve compiled a few recipes for your drinking pleasure over the next unbearable four (eight?) years.