Temporal Middle Finger

I seriously hate losing an hour. Gaining an hour is like some awesome time traveling adventure where you’re rewarded for your valiant efforts with extra sleep. Losing an hour is just cruel.

Butterflies

I challenge you: grab a magnifying glass and a butterfly, and tell me that what you see doesn’t look exactly like the butterfly in this comic. The crazy eyes. The bad teeth. These sort of things are standard issue in the butterfly world. Caterpillars think they’re going to become beautiful, but in reality, they look better as fuzzy worms. Cuter that way, too.

Gobble the Wiener

This comic is actually based on a true story. This guy Eileen and I knew in college did this exact thing, only instead of a hotdog, it was human being.

Pig-Headed

Sometimes, a cartoonist just needs to draw a pig.

It’s Valentine’s Day Again

I know. It’s not actually Valentine’s Day. But it’s close.

The good thing about using organs as valentines is that they’re not wasted afterward. You can’t make a meat pie out of a shoebox full of cheap card-stock SpongeBob SquarePants valentines. Believe me. I’ve tried.

Ninja Sandwich

Here’s how to make a ninja sandwich. I know you all understand the mechanics of sandwich construction, so I’ll just go over the ingredients.

You need bread, preferably sliced and not some sort of kaiser roll or pita. You’ll also need lettuce, raw onions, several thinly sliced pieces of dill pickle, mustard, mayonnaise, and a few dashes of ordinary black pepper. The ninja has to be small enough to fit between the slices of bread, and should be alive while eating to maintain its subtle ninja flavors.

Excited Snowman

This is how Winslow has spent every snow day since 1995. And let his diligence be a message to the rest of you: If you’re ever unhappy with your body, build yourself a surrogate out of snow.

AVATAR IS TEh AWESOMEZ0RZ!!1!!!1

I felt a powerful need to draw this when I found out the smurflions from Avatar had sex with their hair. Because, you know. They have sex. With their hair.

The Impending Ingestion of Mr. Snugglesbee

There is nothing on Heaven or Earth that Winslow won’t eat. I kind of imagine a hamster tasting like what a hamster cage smells like: newsprint, wood shavings, dried fruit, and stale feces. If that’s not a feast, I don’t know what is.

Pancake Torso

Winslow has replaced his head many times, but never his torso. I can’t think of a better replacement than a stack of fresh pancakes dripping with syrup. Of course, after about three minutes those pancakes will get soggy and Winslow’s torso will start to sag. And then there’s the sticky residue that’ll be left behind in his pants, and who has the time to clean that up?