Abridged Classics: Pathfinder

So, I while ago, I made an Abridged Classic for Pathfinder, an appalling example of racism in cinema, and also an appalling example of cinema. And man, there was plenty to show you. Especially because writing about this movie just doesn’t do it justice. It’s one thing to write, “The Native American characters are useless.” [...]

Three Cartoons by Loren Fishman

Cartoons! Wooo!

There’s An App For That

It is a pune, or play on words.

As the World Falls Down: ComicCon 2010

My name is FAELUVER, but you can also call me [Redacted]. I write fan fiction, and am famous for writing the best Labyrinth fanfiction evahhhhh!!!!* Supposedly, Defenestration has found me so aspiring that they hired me to instruct you all on the wonderful world of fandom! This is going to be so feyzerbeam u guyz!!! [...]

“Free-Market Jesus is King and CEO,” by Nicholas Ozment

Inspired by a conservative website’s project to create a new Bible translation that “eliminates liberal bias” and incorporates “free market meaning,” I have taken another look at the lost years of Jesus. In light of free market meaning, I have tried to fill in the gaps.

Tom Colicchio with a Side of Artichoke Hearts

Top Chef is taking place in DC this year – since that’s your backyard, have you been following it closely and who do you think should win? You are absolutely correct to think that this season’s Top Chef being set in Washington D.C. is simply orgasmic because eventually we’ll get to see head-judge and co-host, [...]

Commute to Oblivion

If you’re like me, you must daydream on your ride to work that this will be the day in which your vehicle of transportation will be hit by an ice cream truck, resulting in a nice day off and melted snow cones for everyone. But that’ll never happen. So you busy yourself with more mundane [...]

Gouged Eye of Thundera

Thundercats was an awesome show. At least by 80s cartoon standards. Viewed today, the writing, particularly the dialogue, is clearly not up to the storytelling standards of modern cartoons. Not to say that all modern cartoons are written particularly well, but back in the 80s, cartoons were vehicles for selling action figures. They didn’t need to be well written.

Getting High Off The Sound Of Music

So. Kids have once again found another back door to getting “high” because they can’t stand being under their parents ever vigilant, controlling thumbs in an attempt to make them more perfect than those snotty Joneses kids—that and the fact that most kids can’t stand each other (or pretty much anything that doesn’t involve themselves). [...]

“A History of Economic Bubbles as Told Through Worthington Family Letters,” by John Frank Weaver

Beloved Papa,

I am ever so delighted to find myself in Amsterdam at the dawn of the new age of floral wealth! Every person I greet in the city squares is aglow with the bright future of tulips and Dutch trade. I have heard stories in the salons that the Ottoman Sultan himself is investing most of his personal fortune in Dutch tulips! Although I intended only a short sojourn before beginning my studies at Leiden University, my plans have changed. I have become apprenticed to a merchant here in Amsterdam and shall represent him in his trade discussions with his British counterparts.