All entries by this author

“The Goddess’s Resignation,” by Laurie Brown-Pressly

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

I read through the company-wide email and my hands tremble. Although I recognize the entire middle section as my work, I read it through four more times to be sure. My work has Reginald Douchebag O’Donald’s name on the by-line. Then, I remembered. Our Thursday evening meeting ran long. I’d grown weary of Reginald’s leering and his double entendres, and I was ready to go home. While our team was waiting for our boss to approve a draft, Reginald asked to borrow my laptop for a last minute change to his fantasy football roster; his computer wasn’t connecting to the internet. Sure, I said, and slid the machine across the table hoping this would keep him distracted until the boss returned. How could I have been so naïve? Now he has used my work to get the promotion.



“Inside the Box,” by Hayleigh Santra

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

Man walks by carrying a box wrapped in tin foil. It’s impossible to see what’s inside.

S: What if he’s carrying a human head in there?

H: It’s a bunch of butterflies.

S: It’s a gecko.



“A Short Temper For Tall Tales,” by Michael Augustine Dondero

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

Lunar Base Commander Raines reporting to Houston. I’m not sure what you witnessed on your end, but we’ve got a bit of an issue up here.

I know this is going to sound fantastical but here goes:

I’m fairly certain that Command Module Pilot Aikman is a werewolf.



“Dental Imprint,” by Ben Niespodziany

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

Before I departed from the dentist’s office,
the doctor asked me if I wanted to get an imprint
of my teeth to have on file, an impression
as part of their ongoing collection.



“The Cyclops as Art Critic,” by Sarah Henry

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

Who needs two eyes
when the show is dull
and the right people go?



Two Poems by Matt Mason

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

It’s so America,
so nineteen fifties,
so Main Street nostalgic, so
Karl-Marx’s-brain-would-explode-by-the-time-he-hit-the-churro-cart capitalistic.



“Ode to a Corkscrew,” by Marcia J. Pradzinski

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

O, corkscrew—
You’re supposed to be easier,
easier than the one with
bird wings that press down,
and pull the cork up,



Two Poems by Sharon E. Svendsen

Aug 20th, 2018 | By

In bed does he shout, “Action!”?
At some point does he say, “Cut,
let’s try that again.”?
I don’t know about you
but I couldn’t handle
242 takes.



Cloud Cover

Aug 17th, 2018 | By

Sometimes you just want to draw characters with stormclouds for hair. And sometimes, when you do, you make a medical breakthrough. You’re welcome.



“Let Me Fix Your Language, Germany,” by Robert McGee

Aug 15th, 2018 | By

Learning German is hard. For an English speaker, it’s nearly impossible to figure out why pizza is feminine unless it is an object. “Die Pizza—feminine subject—schemeckt fine,” but, “Kann ich ein Stuck von der Pizza—masculine object—haben?” I would like to think this happens because Germans are progressive, but I know that’s not true. Part of me knows it would be easier to remember if it were the other way around—masculine things become feminine when they are objects—but I hate that part of myself.