Defenestration: May 2008

My, my, how the time does fly. Could this really be the May 2008 issue of Defenestration? It very well could be. Unless I’m lying. Which I’m not. Unless I’m lying.
The one thing I never agonize over regarding this magazine is the editorial. I almost always write them at the last minute. Inspiration comes through [...]

“The Test,” by Jesse Weiner

a woman
is a test
with all
the questions
hidden. If
you don’t
know all
the answers
you fail.
————
Jesse Weiner is a poet who does things. With words.

“The Young Emily Dickinson’s Letter Home from Summer Camp,” by Marianne Hess

Because I would not stop for Crafts
The Counselor yelled at me
I think that She is quite an Ass
And Stupid probably.
This whole damn thing   Is such a waste
And I am forced to play
When all I’d really rather do
Is Get the Hell Away
I drained the Pool, where Children dove
And then   when I was Done
I torched the pier [...]

2 Poems by CL Bledsoe

A Bar
Lorca, Dickinson, and Neruda walk into a pub.
It’s a pub we’ve all seen before, full of darkness and smoke
and complaining. Neruda sits at the bar; Lorca
chooses a booth. Dickinson stands by the bathroom, begging
for change for the juke box.
A fight breaks out, a dark fight.
Neruda has been talking to the wrong
man’s date. The [...]

“URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL BULLETIN: New Guidelines for what to do if you encounter a UFO,” by Mike Romeling

As we all know, UFO is short for Undead Ferocious Otters. You may see them in many places but usually not in beauty parlors. In fact, many women frequent beauty parlors primarily to reduce their risk of encountering Undead Ferocious Otters and to smoke cigarettes. Nobody bothers you about smoking when you’ve got curlers sticking [...]

“New Jersey Slogans,” by Alison Burke

Coming to a Tourism Ad Near You!
1. New Jersey: Finally a state that looks up to West Virginia.
2. New Jersey: Home of the famous wife beaters and beaten wives.
3. New Jersey: The skid mark in America’s underpants.
4. New Jersey: Because A**hole was deemed inappropriate.
5. New Jersey: Best described by Tony Soprano: “F%&k!”.
6. New Jersey: Making [...]

“Movie Reviews” by Megan Amram

GONE WITH THE WIND
This movie was OK, but it was no 300. Seriously, have you seen 300? That movie had such cool special effects and action scenes. I’m a very masculine guy, but I’m not afraid to admit that some of the love scenes in 300 made me cry, and also some of the action [...]

“Male Member Needed For Critique Group,” by Jeff Crouch and Christopher Woods

(Click to Enlarge)

————
Jeff Crouch is an internet artist in Grand Prairie, Texas. Google “Jeff Crouch” to see where he has been.
Christopher Woods lives in Houston and in Chappell Hill, Texas. It is in the latter place that he hears coyotes cry at night. He doesn’t mind them as much as the occasional skunk that shows [...]

“Wanna Play,” by Randy Thurman

Artwork by Randy Thurman
Text by Luigi Fairbanks and Randy Thurman

When I asked Mr. Thurman about his painting “Wanna Play,” he looked at me with such intensity that I feared he was trying to turn me inside out with his mind. After three minutes of unsettling eye contact, Mr. Thurman gave up this pursuit and said [...]

“Deer Tales,” by Ken Brosky

I’m at a bar and I’m supposed to be trying to figure out what to do with my life, but instead I’m hunting deer. Bucks. Some of them hide behind the trees and some of them come running out into the clearing from the edges of the screen. I’m pumping the little plastic rifle as [...]