Defenestration: September 2007

Avast me hearties, and welcome to th’ September 2007 issue of that scurvy rag Defenestration!
Here at Defenestration HQ, Talk Like A Pirate Day doesn’t end on September 19th. We start talking like pirates, two thirds of the crew gets drunk on Eileen’s special “Irish Rum Recipe #35, Specifically For Pirates,” and the rest of the [...]

“thirteen things to do while waiting for your lover,” by Michaela A. Gabriel

assume a new identity every quarter hour:
be saintly, paranoid, the lonely owner of a

cat. butter a slice of bread on both sides.
drop it. frown at the result and repeat your

experiment seventeen times; take notes
for posterity. sing a song he doesn’t like.

gather dust balls and put them on a shelf
high [...]

2 Poems by Tony Zurlo

My name is Nameless
and I am a googleholic
My friends said I needed intervention,
that unaided ungoogling is unbearable,
suggested Googleholics Anonymous (GA).
(I had to google to find one, though)
The GA director said googling is incurable,
that once a googleholic always a googleholic,
that it was predestined and permanent.
(I googled all night on “googleholic”)
Again I confessed and spilled my guts.
“It [...]

“Caffeine,” by Eirik Gumeny

I’ve found
that at this point in the evening
my train of thought
tends to be an empty passenger locomotive
dangerously  low on  fuel,
more inclined than not
to derail  under a slight breeze,
and running  along rusted-out tracks
held together
with duct tape and a prayer.
The  engineer is passed out cold
and  the conductor’s under the delusion
that he is, in fact,
an all-powerful lawn flamingo.
As such, whatever it was that I [...]

“This Better Be The Final Fantasy,” by Ian Blakeman

————
Ian from England wished to remain anonymous because the thought of being famous might make people go to his web page at http://nightmareprince.deviantart.com/. Therefore, we won’t tell you his name or location or indeed link you to his deviantART account.