Avast me hearties, and welcome to th’ September 2007 issue of that scurvy rag Defenestration!
Here at Defenestration HQ, Talk Like A Pirate Day doesn’t end on September 19th. We start talking like pirates, two thirds of the crew gets drunk on Eileen’s special “Irish Rum Recipe #35, Specifically For Pirates,” and the rest of the [...]
assume a new identity every quarter hour:
be saintly, paranoid, the lonely owner of a
cat. butter a slice of bread on both sides.
drop it. frown at the result and repeat your
experiment seventeen times; take notes
for posterity. sing a song he doesn’t like.
gather dust balls and put them on a shelf
high [...]
My name is Nameless
and I am a googleholic
My friends said I needed intervention,
that unaided ungoogling is unbearable,
suggested Googleholics Anonymous (GA).
(I had to google to find one, though)
The GA director said googling is incurable,
that once a googleholic always a googleholic,
that it was predestined and permanent.
(I googled all night on “googleholic”)
Again I confessed and spilled my guts.
“It [...]
I’ve found
that at this point in the evening
my train of thought
tends to be an empty passenger locomotive
dangerously low on fuel,
more inclined than not
to derail under a slight breeze,
and running along rusted-out tracks
held together
with duct tape and a prayer.
The engineer is passed out cold
and the conductor’s under the delusion
that he is, in fact,
an all-powerful lawn flamingo.
As such, whatever it was that I [...]
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Ian from England wished to remain anonymous because the thought of being famous might make people go to his web page at http://nightmareprince.deviantart.com/. Therefore, we won’t tell you his name or location or indeed link you to his deviantART account.