1. You wake up at 6:23 a.m. to the sound of the dog barking at the back door. You go outside to the living room and find your son playing his XBox One, claiming he “doesn’t speak dog” and has no idea what she wants.

2. You head to the bathroom and don’t see the steaming pile of dog shit sitting on the kitchen floor as you nearly pull a groin. Your new slippers are now ruined as you consider the dog really did have to go out.