Dear Friends and Otherwise,

First, I’d like to offer my condolences to the Martin family. I hope little Gabby comes home from the burn unit soon. Please let us know if you’d like Bob to not visit her with his accordion.

As to the zippo lighter: some of you have expressed concern over the appropriateness of this item as a party favor in a child’s gift bag. First, let’s not jump to conclusions; we all have our own interpretations of “appropriate” and “child.”

Comment section for You Tube video Qvst3rtY67: German Heavy Metal Band Schicklgruber’s Mustache–New song “Where is My Lighter, I Have No Cigarette”

Dumbguy60: I love German power metal.

JayJay: Power metal? Were your ears torn off by a weasel? This is obviously symphonic metal.

CrowbarsAreFun: I thought it was doom metal.

Bob: This is awful

EXT. SENATE STEPS—DAY SENATOR WILSON: (Gazes at American flag waving overhead, takes deep breath.) My first day as a freshman senator. Well, here goes nothing! Cut to INT. SENATE FLOOR—DAY (SENATOR WILSON takes seat, smiling nervously. SENATOR SMITH sits next to her, extends hand.) SENATOR SMITH: Wayne Smith, Texas. You new here? SENATOR WILSON: Yeah,

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My wife Carol said something really sweet and profound to me the other day. I wish I’d muted the TV long enough to catch it all.

Carol starts every day by saying, “I love you.” I respond by asking her who she’s on the phone with.

#13: Day / night indicator, indicates whether it is day or night in the vicinity where you are. You must first set dial “B” though, so that the watch knows which time zone you are in and dial “E” so that it knows whether or not your zone uses daylight savings time. One way to check whether you have correctly set dials “B” and “E” is by going outside and looking at the sky. You may also utilize a window looking toward the outdoors for this same purpose if one is available.