I kept the address labels. The nickel, too. The night of the day I used the first label, I dreamed of starving orphaned children with distended stomachs. They told me I should have sent the nickel back, along with a generous check and a stamp to save the charity the cost of postage. I ignored the

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Fireworks I ended it on the fourth of July But still she cried and threw things at me. That’s the trouble with American girls: They don’t ‘do’ Irony. Thunder If I’m lying, she said, may the ground open up and swallow me. And as the words left her lips a sound like thunder filled the

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How I love guacamole salad this murky mucky marvel to eat is to imbibe Great green gobs of avocado add onions to create a dubious delight Admittedly it is the ugliest of foods in name and in appearance The ignorant may hesitate to part their lips and give it clearance But those who know will

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I handed in my notice at work today and the guy didn’t even bother to read it– just folded it and place it in his shirt pocket like an unwanted receipt. told everyone I was leaving to become a poet a superhero a spy a nazi– nobody blinked. then marie walks in asks what happened

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Bachelor Bisazza should not spend a penny on fixing his Disturbed Mother with grisly treatments: just one $500 Freedom voucher would clean her up for days. Look how she whips this poor boy of hers up to a level of apathy so bad he is committed. His mother is the first step to happiness in

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