“How I Quit My Six-Figure Job to Become an Instagram Influencer,” by Hannah Lawrence
Jul 17th, 2019 | By Defenestration
Food? Water?? Shelter?! Sure you may need these things to survive, but since when has surviving made you cool?
Prose
“Totally Dank Meme Ideas For My Tumblr (it’s pretty much viral or bust for me now),” by Simon Pinkerton
Jul 10th, 2019 | By Defenestration When you realise your day job isn’t fulfilling OR well paid
Pic label: WELL THIS IS AWKWARD
Pic: Two hot women arriving at a party in the same dress, looking at each other with those sideways-mouth faces, there’ll definitely be something like this out there
“Fix Your Chronically Ill Friends in 99 Words or Less,” by Liz Charlotte Grant
Jul 3rd, 2019 | By Defenestration
Me too! OMFG that exact thing happened to me this one time, it’s EXACTLY like your thing, I swear, it’s so CRAZY that we both have your thing going on. #twinning!
“Finding Love in Big Data, One Man’s Search for Genetic Compatibility,” by Nick Hilbourn
Jun 26th, 2019 | By Defenestration Hello readers. Anyone who knows Nick Hilbourn knows that he’s a materialist.
Not just any materialist, but a DAMNED GOOD materialist. I don’t cut corners. You want corners cut? You want someone to take your corners and snip them off with a pair of left-handed scissors (YES, I AM LEFT-HANDED…GO AHEAD AND POUR OUT YOUR BUCKETS OF VITRIOL…. I AM NOT ASHAMED AND I AM NOT AFRAID). But seriously, you want to cut my corners?
“Emergency Swim Lessons,” by D. B. Silly
Jun 19th, 2019 | By Defenestration If you are reading this, chances are you are in a state of Drowning.