In the year 1858, a young Oliver Booth, brother of John Wilkes, saved the son of future president Abraham Lincoln from being crushed between two railway cars.

A snake, man, is the easiest pet in the world to take care of. It’s raw. Buy a tank, bedding, a clay pot for water, a heat lamp, and you’re live!

From the beginning, it was clear that there were more than 15 items in her basket, more, even than 20. I know this because I obsessively counted them while I put my own items on the conveyer belt, which was difficult to do because she was hogging the whole thing with her canned tuna fish, her iceberg lettuce, and her generic spaghetti sauce. 

Skin, I’m waterproof.  That’s a feature not emphasized enough when we extol the wonders of this 360-degree, wraparound envelope of living flesh that you exist inside. 

Dear Neighborhood, 
We just wanted to let you know that the potentially erratic behavior of the neighborhood squirrels is completely unrelated to our having dumped a bag of coffee beans in our compost. It was a low quality brand presented to us from our in-laws, but, being the environmentally conscious people we are, we are composting instead of trashing them.