Dear Todd,

Please stop pranking my dad. He thinks the walkie-talkie you hid in his room is the voice of God. You know how religious he is. I admit, it was funny when you told him to buy Whiteclaws for Kathy’s party because ‘God was feeling thirsty.’ But this has gotten out of hand.

It is the goal and intention of this project to gain a better understanding of postmodern bachelorism through application-based research and documentation.

May 27, 2020.  In Littleton, CO, the garbage truck had just gurgled down the alley behind our house and a gorgeous 70 degree breeze swayed the trees while the morning sun shone on our purple mountains.  This would be the perfect day for our first ever camping trip as a family.  I knew exactly where to go: out of cell phone range in this sweet little valley below Mt.  Quandary, one of Colorado’s 58 14ers.

When boiled to the bone, traditional folk songs skew toward the dark side. Below are loglines that summarize the plots of a representative selection of actual folk songs whose lyrics would harsh anyone’s mellow.

Clark had me at “Please don’t be too sketchy”. There were no pictures of the place, which should have alarmed me, but did not. We texted for a little while. He finally sent pictures. Not the Ritz, but cute and economical. I asked to add him on Facebook to ensure he was not a serial killer. In retrospect, I bet Ted Bundy would have had a very endearing internet presence.