I am pleased to announce that we will be marking our seventh year of operation as a Burger Palace franchise with a gala Grand Opening celebration.  The Burger Palace corporate office has given us the long-awaited green light and has set its massive public relations wheels in motion. The big day will be November 12.  I’m sure we will all find this momentous occasion to be well worth the wait.

How do you zoo?

It’s easy.

Just follow these simple steps.

DISEMBODIED MALE VOICE:  “Hej! Thank you for calling the IKEA Hotline.  We’re here to help you assemble our fine pieces of furniture.  Sustainable living begins at IKEA.  For service in English press one.  Para instrucciones en español, oprima dos. för instruktioner på svenska, tryck tre.”

As we near the 25th anniversary of the last episode of Me & Buddy, it’s still impossible to forget its infectious theme (“My buddy, my buddy / Just hanging out with my buddy!”) that played ad nauseum during its opening, transitions, commercial break intros and outros, credits, and often a few times during show, too. Many also remember that the silly though heavy-hearted tone—stemming from the natural chemistry between host, Alan “Bud” Pastoria, and his real-life infant son, Alan “Buddy” Pastoria II—shifted dramatically between the first and second seasons.

The woman hovered over me with her sharp metal instruments, poised in concentration. Somehow I’d agreed to let a stranger probe inside my mouth while I lay on my back, passive and inert. And I probably had a spinach leaf in my teeth from lunch.

A friend had recommended this dentist, assuring me she was experienced and trustworthy. Dr. Jen looked barely old enough to drive but seemed to know what she was doing.