Let’s be honest with ourselves, life is really only worth living between the ages of six and sixty, after that we’re in bonus levels.

I met Mary Gaitskill once, and only once, which stands to be one of the most memorable and embarrassing evenings of my life.

For our entire lives, birthdays have been dedicated to our own happiness and fulfillment. We’re being celebrated for an act we had no part in and are rewarded for simply falling out of a vagina.

Hope does not taste good. I guess coffee is best when it is bitter and brewed with human suffering and unfairness.

It appears that no matter how old we get, and what road of life we’ve decided to travel, a lot of people can’t shake off the shitty personalities they exhibited in high school. The only difference between then and now: getting into fisticuffs results in getting fired rather than a few days suspension. Oh, and lawsuits.