I challenge you: grab a magnifying glass and a butterfly, and tell me that what you see doesn’t look exactly like the butterfly in this comic. The crazy eyes. The bad teeth. These sort of things are standard issue in the butterfly world. Caterpillars think they’re going to become beautiful, but in reality, they look better as fuzzy worms. Cuter that way, too.

Introduction: My job is stupid.  Don’t get me wrong, I like pay checks and employment, as I lack other methods for collecting said pay check, but working is just dumb.  To clue you in to the environment of my mental personal hell, I’ve included a scene from this mornings antics: Method One: Boss: “Did you

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This comic is actually based on a true story. This guy Eileen and I knew in college did this exact thing, only instead of a hotdog, it was human being.

A hasty survey (taken at parties when I say I am going to powder my nose, but really I am checking out their fridges) of my friend’s fridges (and pantries) reveals that certain people can live without quinoa. Few of my friends are spelt-lovers. Few take the time to cut fruit with a fruit knife in the European manner—there are lots of packages of Wegman’s pre-cut melon.

How would I go about throwing a fancy dinner party for upwards of 50 guests? Stage One: Denial What?  Fifty people didn’t really respond to the Evite.  It’s not like they all don’t know you live in a two-bedroom apartment. They don’t expect you to cook anything – you have an abortion for a kitchen,

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