To the Admissions Board of Harvard University:

This letter of intent has been written to announce my intentions to receive a four-year scholarship as your starting quarterback. While I have had a few options in the academic market, none of the community colleges or online universities have the wealth of history (and history of wealth) that Harvard’s MBA program offers.

When I start to have a desire to gnaw my legs off, freeing the rest of my body from 9-5 enslavement, I know it’s lunch time! Trouble is, what to eat, and where can I go so that my boss and his daily planner can’t find me? My escape route combines cunning (staircases) and romance

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While Winslow’s personality makes it next to impossible for him to engage in romantic relationships, Kurt the Cynic has a more depressing problem. He has no trouble starting relationships, but he has an abysmal track record with maintaining them. It’s not his fault. He just attracts the wrong kinds of women.

Charlotte, Sam, and I took a trip in the summer of 1984 to the Rocky Mountains to mend our strained relationships. I remember it like it was yesterday plus twenty-six years. Looking back, we were just kids at the time. All I thought about were girls and my doctoral thesis. Sam was teething. None of us were in jail.

The only DC comic I was ever interested in as a kid was Batman, but Green Lantern has a certain appeal. I mean, how many of us would love to be the bearer of a magic green space ring that does awesome things to bad people? Don’t be shy. Raise your hands.