This whole scenario is a problem waiting to happen. Winslow should not have gone to witches for help with his relationship hangups, and he sure as hell shouldn’t have given them Little Winslow as payment. I don’t know who’s in more trouble: Winslow, or the witches. Because everyone knows Little Winslow has the upper hand here. He’s a bundle of amazing in a tiny package!

I recently glanced at a review of men’s fashion in the New York Times and I thought, “That’s total bullshit. I don’t know a single man who wears a “snowflake-embroidered topcoat, loose trousers and a logo cardigan.” I’ve never seen a single one of my friends wearing “a Mylar suit with elastic cuffs, worn with rubberized canvas boots.” In order to bring into existence a fashion review that more closely squares with what middle-aged men actually wear, I’ve created this short list of the most reliable fashion choices for middle-aged men this year.