Thundercats was an awesome show. At least by 80s cartoon standards. Viewed today, the writing, particularly the dialogue, is clearly not up to the storytelling standards of modern cartoons. Not to say that all modern cartoons are written particularly well, but back in the 80s, cartoons were vehicles for selling action figures. They didn’t need to be well written.

So. Kids have once again found another back door to getting “high” because they can’t stand being under their parents ever vigilant, controlling thumbs in an attempt to make them more perfect than those snotty Joneses kids—that and the fact that most kids can’t stand each other (or pretty much anything that doesn’t involve themselves).

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Beloved Papa,

I am ever so delighted to find myself in Amsterdam at the dawn of the new age of floral wealth! Every person I greet in the city squares is aglow with the bright future of tulips and Dutch trade. I have heard stories in the salons that the Ottoman Sultan himself is investing most of his personal fortune in Dutch tulips! Although I intended only a short sojourn before beginning my studies at Leiden University, my plans have changed. I have become apprenticed to a merchant here in Amsterdam and shall represent him in his trade discussions with his British counterparts.

Seriously, guys, I don’t even know. These characters are all pretty damn phallic, which I swear was unintentional. They all started as stick figures once upon a time. Some people might think that when I start making penis jokes, I’m running out of ideas. In actuality, it means I’m just getting started. ;)

NEW YORK–The stock market continues to experience huge daily swings as traders remain unable to predict or understand the Dao Jones, analysts reported Tuesday.