Archive for June, 2009
Defenestration: June 2009
Welcome to the June 2009 issue of Defenestration, also known as “VI.VIII,” also known as “Poetry and Prose and Zombies.” Or something like that. There is definitely poetry, there is definitely prose, and there are definitely zombies. Not everywhere, mind you, but rather sprinkled here and there like chocolate chips atop a scoop of vanilla [...]
“GuacamOde,” by Clay Carpenter
How I love guacamole salad
this murky mucky marvel
to eat is to imbibe
Great green gobs of avocado
add onions to create
a dubious delight
Admittedly it is the ugliest
of foods in name
and in appearance
The ignorant may hesitate
to part their lips and
give it clearance
But those who know will swear
that it quite simply
can ’t be beaten
although it begs the question:
is it to [...]
“nobody blinked,” By Ross Leese
I handed in my notice
at work today
and the guy
didn’t even bother
to read it–
just folded it
and place it
in his shirt pocket
like an unwanted
receipt.
told everyone
I was leaving
to become
a poet
a superhero
a spy
a nazi–
nobody blinked.
then marie walks in
asks what happened
on big brother
last night
and
the whole room
explodes
into standing
ovation.
————
Ross Leese is from the North of England and is approaching his thirties very [...]
“Six Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship,” by Greg Gerke
SIX WARNING SIGNS OF A TROUBLED RELATIONSHIP (REMEDIES INCLUDED)
By Shiva Lila, M.A., ASCAP
1. The Locks Are Changed Nearly Every Time You Return Home
This has happened to three friends of mine. Ironically they were all born in Pittsburgh and strangely enough they are all women.
On the bright side you can know this is simply a plea [...]
“In Praise of Zombies,” by Jon Alan Carroll
Zombies never sigh. Or roll their eyes.
Zombies are never hurt by a rejection from Ploughshares. Not even the third one.
Unlike certain right-wing commentators, zombies do not deeply admire their own courage.
Zombies never direct movies about beautiful young people learning important lessons about life and love.
Zombies are not, as Neal Cassady would say, hung-up about being [...]
“The Webster Letters,” by Dietrich Kalteis
Dear Mr. Webster:
Let me start by saying it is certainly not my intent to appear brazen, or to burden you, rather to humbly draw your attention, purely out of duty, to a grave and considerable error I found in your ninth edition. Although I do not recall why I delved into my volume, that is [...]
“The Private Life of Obama’s Speechwriter,” by Samuel K.
The secret life of Jon Favreau, the President’s wordsmith wunderkind.
9:05 a.m. — Breakfast at the White House.
WAITER: More coffee?
JON: Thank you, thank you very much. I dine here today, humbled by the task before us, grateful for the breakfast you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by the White House kitchen staff. God bless [...]
“Hugocentric,” by M.J. Nicholls
It’s never too late to believe in hope.
It was a little late for me on Tuesday 13th. I had attempted to kill myself with my tie by suspending a noose from the bathroom light. Hope had arrived fashionably late to the party.
It was a mistake to believe that a Bart Simpson tie had any hanging [...]
“Stephanie,” by Sara Reihani
By 8:34 am, Stephanie was really beginning to enjoy being a zombie. There had been better hair days, but decaying flesh had gotten rid of her blackheads, and the box of Milk Duds still tasted pretty good. She sat down at her desk, pondering the Harvard application form she had printed out the night before. [...]
“Book of Tales, Part 1,” by Eddie Grant
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Eddie Grant is a man with lots of free time which he chooses to fill turning his dumb thoughts into comic strips. If you wish to be a part of his looming madness then visit him at his deviantART gallery: http://zarkonspacepirategod.deviantart.com
