Archive for December, 2007
Defenestration: December 2007
Welcome, one and all, to the December issue of Defenestration! It’s late. I know it’s late, you know it’s late, Eileen knows it’s late, Genevieve knows it’s late, Bigfoot knows it’s late, the Elm Tree knows it’s late, that old guy sitting outside your bedroom throwing birdseed at your window and humming Abba songs knows [...]
“Ryan,” By Erin Bruno
Ridiculously unimpressed Yawning with his eyes as I Adorn the night with slurred syllables and my Noxious black smoke that he says smells like Christmas trees burning.
“Roadkill Poem,” by Chris Major
Roadkill Poem By Chris Major ———– Chris Major doesn’t want you to know anything about him because his bones are made of secrets and his muscles are made of enigmas and his skin is made out of interlocking puzzle pieces that sweat. He wants you to go here: http://whyvandalism.com/
“Seven minutes in heaven? Hardly.” by Gabrielle Sierra
“You have to do it Joanne. What are you a prude?” asked Corey H. Yes. “No.” So she stood defiantly, knees wobbling slightly, nine sets of eyes pasted to her. Grabbing Tim’s arm she yanked him up. “Oooooh” cooed the thirteen year olds. “I knew it” whispered Corey R. Lindsay Snow frowned deeply. Joanne cleared [...]
“The Day of the Tortoise,” by Ethan Bernard
The day my brother found a tortoise, we decided to start a zoo. One night, while kicking a soccer ball, my brother shrieked, A turtle! I ran out. A tortoise, I corrected him; turtles stay in the water. My brother, age a mere six years, was more ardent than wise. I, two years his senior, [...]
“Catman,” by Michael Fowler
I was surprised when the superhero Catman moved into the long unoccupied home in my suburb across the street from me. The neighbors I talked to felt the same way. What was the Furious Feline, only a few years ago presented with a key to the city by Mayor Willis, doing in a rundown Cape [...]
“Local Businesses that Missed the Point When Helping Needy Families,” by John Frank Weaver
Family 1: Single mom, age 35; 2 boys, ages 6 and 10. Mom would like a new sweatshirt. 6-year old likes stuffed animals and needs a new jacket. 10-year old likes Transformers and could use socks. Local Business Sponsor: Wanda’s Brassiere and Lingerie Gallery. Mom received three dozen Infinity Edge Push-Up bras, Wanda’s most popular [...]
“Untimely,” by Eric Thurschwell
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (AP) –’ July 15’ — Stan Fredericks, a resident of the affluent Chestnut Hill section of Philadelphia,’ was eaten alive yesterday when an 1100-pound hammer head shark was mistakenly delivered to his home swimming pool. Police investigators said that the accidental transposition of two numbers in a 16-digit UPS address code caused the [...]
“Happills,” by Nicolas Jones
———— Nicolas says: “My cartoon – Antarctica Asylum – is centered around a depressive penguin named Gwen.” You can find more of Nicolas’ work by going here: http://forgetfulrainn.deviantart.com
“Behold the Wisdom of the Ancients,” by Gregg Popular and Andrew Kaye
———— Gregg was born in the middle of a raging lightning storm to two immortal warrior dugongs, the ugliest defenders of the sea. Cast out from his clan due to his inferior skills with a spear and shield, along with never getting fat or bristly enough to cow opponents with sheer ugliness, he was found [...]
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