Kitchen Faucet

Really good. Pull up the handle and water comes out of it and doesn’t stop until you put the handle back down. Thought maybe there was a limit to the amount of water that could come out of it, but I’ve let it run for upwards of eighty-six hours on multiple occasions and it has never shown any signs of slowing. Seemingly has access to unlimited H2O. A quick google search suggests that “approximately 3.5 million people die each year due to inadequate water supply.” They should come to my apartment.

1. Go into the woods and find a tree that’s been growing for a bit, but not too long, but still for a while.

2. Rub a pencil on the bark of the tee.

3. Make yourself cry green tears and fill them with the bark.