“Every Newborn’s Pre-Installed Boot Software,” By Scott Eckert
Oct 16th, 2013 | By Defenestration![](https://www.defenestrationmag.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Defenestration-Fake-Nonfiction.jpg)
IF ( stomach = empty )
THEN ( run action: cry )
IF ( stomach = full )
THEN ( run action: poop )
IF ( stomach = empty )
THEN ( run action: cry )
IF ( stomach = full )
THEN ( run action: poop )