Above all, be sure that your second home is located in a picturesque, isolated spot, preferably one you have seen only fleetingly in a realtor’s brochure. Mountain precipices and small spits of sand which shift with prevailing tides are generally ideal. For those on a fixed income, any location surrounded by quicksand can be made to serve quite nicely. One knows one has probably chosen the appropriate location when one is unable to find it again.

That was Sunday, before the watchman and the dogs chased me out of the landfill. Now it seems as if I have misplaced the Ferrari. I remember leaving the car idling on the street while I stopped in at City Hall to see if the landfill had a lost and found. May have left keys in the car. Don’t see it anywhere. Che sara lieu sara, as Enzio Ferrari might say. At least I didn’t get a parking ticket.

Just last week, my health care company put me on hold and switched on its automatic music long enough for me to hear “Parsifal” in its entirety, something I have never accomplished at an opera house. And opera is only a small part of my health company’s repertoire. Where else could one hear the entire oeuvre of the Captain and Tenille before being told that a representative would be available shortly and being switched to Chris Bottie and Diana Krall? It is like to listening to a college radio station or WBAI without the politics.