“IKEA Even Sells Cheap, Do-It-Yourself Metaphors For What To Do With Your Drunken Sailor,” by Mars Schupsky
Aug 20th, 2019 | By DefenestrationI woke up in the water, well below the surface but still in the light. When I breached, I gasped and looked for safety. He was floating not too far from me, leg up on the back of the IKEA couch, his hand in a bag of chips, passed out. Even as I swam over to him, calling his name, he didn’t wake up; not until I almost tipped the thing climbing on.