Where to begin? With your relentless negativity? That snotty list of what Wikipedia is not? Not a dictionary, publisher of original thought, means of promotion, blog, memorial site, manual, guidebook, textbook, or scientific journal. Not censored. (Sez who!?!) A nihilistic orgy of not-ness. Contributors (or, to use your cloying jargon, Wikipedians) are told to “Be bold!” Yet boldness, one soon learns, invites retaliation—with accusations and insults including, but hardly limited, to “blatant hoax” (Speedy Deletion Criterion G3) and “no indication of importance” (SDC A7).

Like Thick‑Tailed Spitting Scorpions biding their time under rocks in the Transvaal scrubland, Hidden Health Hazards lurk in every nook and most crannies of our environment. Steadily increasing in range, stealth, and lethality, they have also become ever more accessible, affordable, and fun—leaving scientists at a loss to explain why anyone is still alive.