“How to Date a Celebrity,” by Bela Seitz
Oct 9th, 2024 | By Defenestration
Your social media needs to be scraped clean of any evidence of a wild life or a connection to the public eye; celebrities prefer significant others who the press will assume is a staff member at events because they look so ordinary. You can find celebrities at their jobs—in a dugout or an international screening of their new movie—but those aren’t where you should pursue a celebrity because, there, they are at work. Instead, catch them in their element: the most exclusive restaurant in the city or the bar where, since they were in the same fraternity as one of the bouncers, they let loose without fear of repercussions. If you research them, which isn’t hard to do because their entire lives are plastered online, you will be able to find them in a place where they don’t put their public mask on like a sheet of grass where they tiredly walk their dog every morning.