1. Yeats walks into a room backwards and turns slowly. 2. Yeats likes the suspense of the thing. 3. Upon turning, Yeats will say, “Hi, fuckers!” and you will wave. You always wave. 4. Yeats, upon doing it with a woman for the first time, insists that she thereafter call him “Butters”. 5. At various
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Money should be used for useful things: pants-less man servants, spinning rims, and perhaps a gold and diamond encrusted pizza. Money therefore should not be applied to bone-crushing soul-crunching Caribbean medical school debt. When I first received my beginning payment for my loan, I immediately thought, “I’m going to have to start to hook every
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The life of a balloonist is a life of adventure, and as I have the stout heart of an adventurer, I have chosen this life above any other. Where other men desire simple comfort or mere wealth, I prefer to experience many and varied wonders from a thousand feet in the air. I have seen
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Aries (March 21-April 19): The manuscript you toiled over for five grueling years is now being returned by a bored receptionist. Give up. Taurus (April 20-May 20): You’re having these dark thoughts and this tightness in your gut. To save money, you’ve cut down on little luxuries like cable TV and feelings of self-worth. Gemini
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COLUMBIA, South Carolina: Thirty of the world’s top tic-tac-toe masters converged here to contest the first ever World Tic-Tac-Toe Championship. Two days later, on Sunday, July 14, Willy E. Atwood of nearby Cayce emerged from the strenuous 8-round competition as the best player in the world of perhaps the world’s best-known pencil-and-paper pastime and, incidentally,
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