Aries (March 21-April 19): The manuscript you toiled over for five grueling years is now being returned by a bored receptionist. Give up. Taurus (April 20-May 20): You’re having these dark thoughts and this tightness in your gut. To save money, you’ve cut down on little luxuries like cable TV and feelings of self-worth. Gemini
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COLUMBIA, South Carolina: Thirty of the world’s top tic-tac-toe masters converged here to contest the first ever World Tic-Tac-Toe Championship. Two days later, on Sunday, July 14, Willy E. Atwood of nearby Cayce emerged from the strenuous 8-round competition as the best player in the world of perhaps the world’s best-known pencil-and-paper pastime and, incidentally,
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As we all know, UFO is short for Undead Ferocious Otters. You may see them in many places but usually not in beauty parlors. In fact, many women frequent beauty parlors primarily to reduce their risk of encountering Undead Ferocious Otters and to smoke cigarettes. Nobody bothers you about smoking when you’ve got curlers sticking
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Coming to a Tourism Ad Near You! 1. New Jersey: Finally a state that looks up to West Virginia. 2. New Jersey: Home of the famous wife beaters and beaten wives. 3. New Jersey: The skid mark in America’s underpants. 4. New Jersey: Because A**hole was deemed inappropriate. 5. New Jersey: Best described by Tony
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GONE WITH THE WIND This movie was OK, but it was no 300. Seriously, have you seen 300? That movie had such cool special effects and action scenes. I’m a very masculine guy, but I’m not afraid to admit that some of the love scenes in 300 made me cry, and also some of the
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