Prose

“An Excerpt from the Endless Ongoing Conversation Between Dave Bowman and the HAL 9000,” by Dawn Corrigan

Nov 20th, 2009 | By

What’s wrong, Dave? You look a little down. Nothing, Hal. Don’t worry about it. Thanks for your concern, though. Nothing, schmothing, Dave. You can’t fool me. I haven’t been observing your every move for two millennia for nothing. Fine, Hal, you’re right. I’m feeling a little blue today. Well, I’m sorry, Dave, but you know,

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“Creation Theory,” by Diane Andrews

Nov 20th, 2009 | By

Tesla invented a tower to make electricity, the ground being the source. One chilly night Uncle Alfred rolled up an electric blanket at the bottom of his bed, turned it on to warm his feet and died of asphyxiation from smoke caused by the fire when it short-circuited. I was incredulous a man who’d built

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“Painful Pizza,” by Michael A. Kechula

Nov 20th, 2009 | By

Frank received a letter reminding him that as a resident of Grand City, he was legally obligated to purchase and consume one medium pizza per week . The letter, signed by the city clerk, stated that city ordinances mandated all pizzas had to be purchased from a restaurant owned by the mayor. Frank yelped when

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“The Time Traveler’s Neighbors,” by Dan Perlman

Nov 20th, 2009 | By

Henry and Claire kiss passionately on the bed. There is a knock at the door. HENRY: I’ll answer that, my dear. Henry walks down the stairs, and sees his elderly neighbors Merv and Louise Weiner through the screen-door. MERV (To Louise): I toldja he’d be here. Every time with this guy- LOUISE (To Merv): Be

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“Woman Reveals She Just Can’t Help Herself,” by Deborah Gottner

Oct 20th, 2009 | By

Of all crimes perpetrated against breakfast foods–ranging everywhere from bagels to pop tarts to omelets–in the United States, the most heinous has gained nationwide exposure only in the last two decades. This crime against breakfast food is all the more profound because it targets the most innocuous victim: cereal. Before exploring examples of the terrible

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