Prose

“Painful Pizza,” by Michael A. Kechula

Nov 20th, 2009 | By

Frank received a letter reminding him that as a resident of Grand City, he was legally obligated to purchase and consume one medium pizza per week . The letter, signed by the city clerk, stated that city ordinances mandated all pizzas had to be purchased from a restaurant owned by the mayor. Frank yelped when

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“The Time Traveler’s Neighbors,” by Dan Perlman

Nov 20th, 2009 | By

Henry and Claire kiss passionately on the bed. There is a knock at the door. HENRY: I’ll answer that, my dear. Henry walks down the stairs, and sees his elderly neighbors Merv and Louise Weiner through the screen-door. MERV (To Louise): I toldja he’d be here. Every time with this guy- LOUISE (To Merv): Be

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“Woman Reveals She Just Can’t Help Herself,” by Deborah Gottner

Oct 20th, 2009 | By

Of all crimes perpetrated against breakfast foods–ranging everywhere from bagels to pop tarts to omelets–in the United States, the most heinous has gained nationwide exposure only in the last two decades. This crime against breakfast food is all the more profound because it targets the most innocuous victim: cereal. Before exploring examples of the terrible

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“The Will to Live,” by Pavelle Wesser

Oct 20th, 2009 | By

Doctor Will stared into the darkness beyond his office window. It was two o’clock in the morning but he just had to call her. He snatched up the receiver and dialed, waiting several rings before she picked up. “Gladys,” he said, “we need to talk.” “At two o’clock in the morning?” “I’m leaving Agnes for

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“I Was a Teenage Felon, etc.” by CJ Hallman

Oct 20th, 2009 | By

On Wednesdays, Agnes was in charge of the kitchen. She had voodoo hands and could whip up this potato salad that Marcus joked was like sucking the fungus off God’s toes. She made damn fine food, but only on Wednesday, because every other day of the week Agnes worked under Jason, her supervisor, who was

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