Fake Nonfiction

“Why Can’t I Find Pants That Look Good Unzipped?” by Jeff Ward

Sep 12th, 2018 | By

Here’s a hard truth about destroying the future. There’s no guidebook. You’ve got your gut, and that’s it.

Hey, my eyes are UP HERE.



“How Following the Weight Watchers Diet Turned Me into a Ring Wraith,” by David Elliott

Sep 5th, 2018 | By

A few years ago, I decided that I might need to lose a few pounds.

It was the little things, really; lack of energy, clothes that didn’t fit anymore, excessive perspiration, the fact that I hadn’t seen my penis since 1973. I thought that joining Weight Watchers would be the most sensible way of going about this, that I could lose weight in a steady, controlled manner, in a friendly environment, surrounded by like-minded people who would support and encourage me throughout the entire process.



“Diary of a Facebook Parent Group Post,” By Kristen Hansen Brakeman

Aug 29th, 2018 | By

Hi CCHS parents! It’s Sheila Rasmusen, new PTA president.
The Varsity Football fundraiser is this Saturday!



“Diner Booth Abandoned, Voiceovers of the Unexplained,” by Alexei Kalinchuk

Aug 22nd, 2018 | By

Grains of salt. Wadded napkins. A scent of slivered fried potatoes in the air. This former site of dining, this leatherette monument to food-based fellowship remains desolate. But clearly someone dined here.



“The Five Stages of Slime,” by Cam Martin

Aug 1st, 2018 | By

Did your child or grandchild recently develop an interest in slime? Of course they did; it’s 2018 and playing with a stick and mud is last year’s trip.

There are five stages for dealing with slime in your life. Here’s how you can expect it to go.