Well after a long hiatus, it’s nice to be back…in the Defenestration vault…strapped to this computer desk … ball and chain attached to my ankle…not allowed to leave…ever. YAY! Eileen promised me cupcakes. Anyway, it’s that dreadful time of year where we’re all expected to make due on those pesky little New Year’s resolutions.

If the title “Lizzie Borden Took an Ax” doesn’t make you question Lizzie Borden’s innocence, you’ll certainly believe she was a murderess after watching at least ten different montages of wax heads smacked open and spewing strawberry jam.

As you mature you start to make the shift from “barnacle in your parent’s house” to “semi-functional adult” (where most of us remain), all of it culminating in you moving out into the world on your own.

Every weekend, I go to my favorite coffee shop for writing time. I hate driving there – it’s only two miles and comes with a residual guilt of being lazy, wasting gas and adding to our carbon footprint. Still, two miles is a long walk and time consuming because of all the major roads.

So I bought a bike. I figured this was a fantastic solution – I checked online and it should only take about fifteen minutes to bike up. There’s no pollution involved and this would be an excellent source of exercise. Needless to say, I was thrilled with my decision and was looking forward to incorporating this bike ride into my writing schedule.

During the course of our lives, we’re introduced to the people who make up the world around us. From birth, we get to know and love our family, and, if our personality isn’t that of a curmudgeonly old man, we’re lucky enough to find friends whom we care deeply for. These relationships grow and blossom for years to come, but those who you’ve trusted to not poison your meals will inevitably succumb to death.