Okay class. Listen up. Here’s a list of inbred contractions that absolutely must be included: -A camera walking into the picture frame. -A series of thoughts that arrive on a conveyor belt. -Rusty nails absorbed in steely concentration. -Banjo lessons held inside a Trojan horse. -A pocket handkerchief with a wrinkled brow. -A vase wearing
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So my friend Phil is telling me how he can’t get a date how he loves women and how they’re always giving him looks so I ask him what kind of looks so he winces at the beautiful braless young woman passing by at that particular propitious moment giving her a look of such longing
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after work everyday two old women wearing tennis shoes would hang outside the liquor store waiting for their bus– these smiling gals in tennis shoes were seen diving hard onto the concrete the day gun shots came flying from inside the store, making it the high point of their dull lives– and like urban birds
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Warning: May contain nuts Recommended Audience: 18.5 + According to Harold Bloomers, ‘the love shared by Romeo and Juliet is as healthy and normative as a honey-coated enema after having your leg ripped off and your soul destroyed by an irate chicken wearing stilettos.’ Discuss this statement in relation to Shakespeare’s play and whatever version
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When I first found out I was a prophet I was super pumped. I mean who wouldn’t be. One day I’m the stockroom manager at Smart and Final and then, out of nowhere, I’m an instrument of the living god. That’s a hell of a promotion. He did a really good job explaining it to
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