It’s never too late to believe in hope. It was a little late for me on Tuesday 13th. I had attempted to kill myself with my tie by suspending a noose from the bathroom light. Hope had arrived fashionably late to the party. It was a mistake to believe that a Bart Simpson tie had

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Presenting: The Defenestrati, a crowd-created Defenestration comic.

Welcome to the May 2009 issue of Defenestration! I was hoping to write something clever this month, but I’m fresh out of clever. I checked the back of the pantry and everything. Nothing there. So next month is technically summer, and I’m hoping (hoping!) that we can get the first fantasy-themed issue prepared by then.

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Bachelor Bisazza should not spend a penny on fixing his Disturbed Mother with grisly treatments: just one $500 Freedom voucher would clean her up for days. Look how she whips this poor boy of hers up to a level of apathy so bad he is committed. His mother is the first step to happiness in

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Cousin Paul has his spleen out. He gets transfusions as often as I get pistachio milkshakes. Every Christmas, he comes poorer and sicker and angrier. The rivers of veins swell close to the surface, especially near his right temple. His nostrils are permanently flared. I don’t know if these are symptoms. Every Christmas he’s a

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