Everyone loves a good yarn about Vikings and inexplicably childlike Native Americans and eyeballs flying all over the place, right? Remember that time Vikings almost wiped out all the Native Americans, except that other Viking was there to save them, even though he had been adopted by them and then outcast for no reason? Oh,
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Damnations and felicitations, folks! Another month has passed us by, and therefore the inevitable has happened: the July 2009 issue of Defenestration is here, and it’s all up in your face. See? Are you excited yet? Are you excited now? Good. This month almost didn’t happen. Not the magazine. The magazine always happens (unless it
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Finally, Hope Lonely and wishing for a miracle, it finally came in the form of an e-mail from a 24-year-old woman with 8.5 million dollars who offered to move in with me if I would help her transfer the funds to this country, and all I had to do to get the money and the
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I kept the address labels. The nickel, too. The night of the day I used the first label, I dreamed of starving orphaned children with distended stomachs. They told me I should have sent the nickel back, along with a generous check and a stamp to save the charity the cost of postage. I ignored the
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Fireworks I ended it on the fourth of July But still she cried and threw things at me. That’s the trouble with American girls: They don’t ‘do’ Irony. Thunder If I’m lying, she said, may the ground open up and swallow me. And as the words left her lips a sound like thunder filled the
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