All entries by this author

Lets De Friends!

Mar 16th, 2010 | By

The fact that my word processor has underlined one word in this opening with the red-line of “No! You idiot!!”, should be some indication that “unfriend” is not a real word. Oxford (in their divine intelligence) has, however, decided otherwise. I have issues with this. Yes, language is constantly changing based on societal standards, but really… unfriend?? It

[continue reading…]



Temporal Middle Finger

Mar 12th, 2010 | By

I seriously hate losing an hour. Gaining an hour is like some awesome time traveling adventure where you’re rewarded for your valiant efforts with extra sleep. Losing an hour is just cruel.



“Long Married Date Night Menu From Vito’s Pizzeria Restaurant Owned and Operated By the Illiano Brothers Who Are Having More Sex With Their Wives Than You Could Possibly Imagine,” by Elizabeth Bastos

Mar 10th, 2010 | By

Pasta

Pizza

Steak Subs dripping with juice

Hand tossed salad

Juicy Imported Tomatoes come on the “Caprese”

Hot, Wide-Open Zucchini Blossoms, deep-fried



Butterflies

Mar 5th, 2010 | By

I challenge you: grab a magnifying glass and a butterfly, and tell me that what you see doesn’t look exactly like the butterfly in this comic. The crazy eyes. The bad teeth. These sort of things are standard issue in the butterfly world. Caterpillars think they’re going to become beautiful, but in reality, they look better as fuzzy worms. Cuter that way, too.



Fight Club and Other Shit (with Science!)

Mar 4th, 2010 | By

Introduction: My job is stupid.  Don’t get me wrong, I like pay checks and employment, as I lack other methods for collecting said pay check, but working is just dumb.  To clue you in to the environment of my mental personal hell, I’ve included a scene from this mornings antics: Method One: Boss: “Did you

[continue reading…]