I will not apologize for the pun in the title.

“Welcome to Mike’s Non-Denominational Burger Restaurant. My name is Emma and I am a digital assistant. You can speak to me in full sentences, just like a real person. I have thoughts and opinions, just like a real person. My favorite color is purple. I like the Boston Celtics. I find Wes Anderson to be pretentious. How can I help you today?”

Winslow has already proven himself to be an adept writer of fantasy fiction and romance, so it’s about time he try his hand at a little horror.

Dear Applicant,

You are not a fit the Creative Strategist / Thought Leader Associate role you applied for. We’ve also deemed you unfit for general living on planet earth. Fuck you.